FF7Nightmare Before Christmas Crossovers
by Vampire Turk
Summary: As the title says. ** DISCLAIMER: all Final Fantasy 7 and Nightmare Before Christmas characters c their own creators, NOT me**
1. Remnants Kidnap the Reno Claws

Cast of Characters:

CLOUD - Jack Skellington  
KADAJ, YAZOO, and LOZ - Lock, Stock and Barrel  
HOJO - Oogie Boogie

_

* * *

  
CLOUD: Oh and one more thing . . . *grabs Kadaj by shoulders and glares at him* Leave that no-account Hojo OUT OF THIS!  
LOZ: Whatever you say, Cloud  
KADAJ: *gracefully slinks out of Cloud's grip* Of course, Cloud . . .  
YAZOO: *nods* Wouldn't dream of it, Cloud  
*Cloud leaves as all laugh sinisterly with fingers crossed behind their backs*_

LOZ, KADAJ, AND YAZOO:*All three walk in a counterclockwise circle*  
Kidnap Mr. Sandy Claws . . .

LOZ:*rubs hands together*  
I wanna do it

YAZOO:  
Let's draw straws

KADAJ: *swats Loz*  
Cloud said we should work together  
Three of a kind

LOZ, KADAJ, AND YAZOO:  
Birds of a feather  
Now and forever  
Wheeee  
La, la, la, la, la  
La, la, la, la, la  
La, la, la, la, la

*remnants head to closet to stock up on weapons*

Kidnap the Sandy Claws, lock him up real tight  
Throw away the key and then  
Turn off all the lights

KADAJ:*scratches head*  
First, we're going to set some bait  
Inside a nasty trap and wait  
When he comes a-sniffing we will  
Snap the trap and close the gate

LOZ:*grips Kadaj's shoulder*  
Wait! I've got a better plan  
To catch this big red lobster man  
Let's pop him in a boiling pot  
And when he's done we'll butter him up

LOZ, KADAJ, AND YAZOO:  
Kidnap the Sandy Claws  
Throw him in a box  
Bury him for ninety years  
Then see if he talks

YAZOO: *evil smile*  
Then Mr. Hojo Man  
Can take the whole thing over then  
He'll be so pleased, I do declare  
That he will cook him rare

LOZ,KADAJ, AND YAZOO:  
Wheeee

*evil laughter from the room below*

LOZ: *points to cannon*  
I say that we take a cannon  
Aim it at his door  
And then knock three times  
And when he answers  
Sandy Claws will be no more

KADAJ: *glares at Loz*  
You're so stupid, think now  
lf we blow him up to smithereens  
We may lose some pieces  
And then Cloud will beat us black and green

LOZ,KADAJ, AND YAZOO  
Kidnap the Sandy Claws  
Tie him in a bag  
Throw him in the ocean  
Then, see if he is sad

YAZOO AND KADAJ:*to each other in low voices*  
Because Mr. Hojo is the meanest guy around  
If I were on his Jenova list, I'd get out of town

YAZOO:  
He'll be so pleased by our success  
That he'll reward us too, I bet

LOZ, KADAJ, AND YAZOO::  
Perhaps he'll make his special brew  
Of snake and spider stew  
Ummm!

We're his little henchmen and  
We take our job with pride  
We do our best to please him  
And stay on his good side

KADAJ: *rolls eyes groaning*  
I wish my cohorts weren't so dumb

YAZOO: *glares*  
I'm not the dumb one

LOZ: *pushes Yazoo into Kadaj*  
You're no fun

YAZOO: *scowls at Loz*  
Shut up!

LOZ: *sticks out tongue*  
Make me!

KADAJ:  
I've got something, listen now  
This one is real good, you'll see  
*wields Souba*  
We'll send a present to his door  
Upon there'll be a note to read  
Now, in the box we'll wait and hide  
Until his curiosity entices him to look inside

YAZOO: *snaps fingers*  
And then we'll have him  
One, two, three!

LOZ, KADAJ, AND YAZOO:  
Kidnap the Sandy Claws, beat him with a stick  
Lock him up for ninety years, see what makes him tick  
*remnants gather up weapons and head outside*  
Kidnap the Sandy Claws, chop him into bits  
Mr. Hojo is sure to get his kicks  
Kidnap the Sandy Claws, see what we will see  
Lock him in a cage and then, throw away the key  
All three: HAHAHAHAH A!!!


	2. The Sephiroth Song

Cast of Characters:

The 3 Remnants - Lock, Stock and Barrel  
RENO - Sandy Claws  
SEPHIROTH - Oogie Boogie Man__

(Don't ask me why Reno's the Sandy Claws - it's just for humor purposes . . . )  


* * *

*The remnants laugh, as LOZ tries to push RENO through a small-sized pipe*

_RENO: *arms and legs are bound* Don't do this! Naughty remn-_

_KADAJ: *gags Reno*_

_YAZOO: *grins* He might not fit, Loz_

_LOZ: *shoving as hard as he can* Nah - If he can go down a chimney, he can fit down . . . *pushes the Turk through* HERE!_

_*RENO falls downs pipe, and lands on stomach, his groan muffled from gag. He peers around for a moment, eyes wide with fear*  
Two dice land short of the Turk, bouncing off his side_

SEPHIROTH: *ascends from above*  
Well, well, well, what have we here?  
Sandy Claws, huh?  
Oh, I'm really scared  
So you're the one everybody's talkin' about,  
ha, ha, ha, ha

*the gag is untied from around his mouth*

You're jokin', you're jokin'  
I can't believe my eyes  
You're jokin' me, you gotta be  
This can't be the right guy  
He's ancient, he's ugly  
I don't know which is worse

*The Turk fumes angrily, trying to move*

I might just split a seam now  
lf I don't die laughing first

*pulls out Masamune and twirls it around*

When Mr. Oogie Boogie says  
There's trouble close at hand  
You'd better pay attention now  
'Cause I'm the Boogie Man  
And if you aren't shakin'  
Then there's something very wrong

*makes RENO participate in a fake waltz*

'Cause this may be the last time now you hear  
the boogie song, ohhh

THREE BATS  
Ohhh

SEPHIROTH:  
Ohhh

SEVEN LIZARDS  
Ohhh

SEPHIROTH:  
Ohhh

SEVEN LIZRDS  
Ohhh, i'm the Oogie Boogie Man

*plays with RENO, making him participate in a fake waltz*

RENO: *glaring at SEPHIROTH*  
Release me now  
Or you must face the dire consequences  
The children are expecting me  
So please, come to your senses

SEPHIROTH:  
You're jokin', you're jokin'  
I can't believe my ears

*spins RENO around and lets him slide across the ground*

Would someone shut this fella up  
I'm drownin' in my tears  
It's funny, I'm laughing  
You really are too much  
And now, with your permission  
I'm going to do my stuff

RENO: *grimaces shutting his eyes*  
What are you going to do?

SEPHIROTH:  
I'm gonna do the best I can

(Musical interlude)

*throws pair of dice*  
Oh, the sound of rollin' dice  
To me is music in the air  
'Cause I'm a gamblin' Boogie Man  
Although I don't play fair  
It's much more fun, I must confess  
When lives are on the line  
Not mine, of course, but yours, oldboy  
Now that'd be just fine

RENO:*is pulled above the ground by binds on wrists*  
Release me fast or you will have to  
Answer for this heinous act

SEPHIROTH: *grins*  
Oh, brother, you're something  
You put me in a spin  
You aren't comprehending  
The position that you're in  
It's hopeless, you're finished  
You haven't got a prayer  
'Cause I'm Mr. Oogie Boogie

*grips RENO's chin* And you ain't going nowhere

* from above: KADAJ, LOZ and YAZOO die laughing*


	3. Tifa's Song

Cast of Characters:  
TIFA -Sally  
CLOUD - Jack Skellington

_

* * *

  
TIFA: *sighs worriedly* Oh, I hope my premonition is wrong . . ._

_*glances out the window*_

I sense there's something in the wind  
That feels like tragedy's at hand

_*sees CLOUD listening to his phone outside*_

And though I'd like to stand by him  
Can't shake this feeling that I have

_*pulls out coat from closet, then looks at Marlene and Denzel fast asleep in their beds*_

The worst is just around the bend  
And does he notice my feelings for him?  
And will he see how much he means to me?

_*shakes head*_

I think it's not to be

_*steps outside, shutting door behind her*_

What will become of my dear friend?  
Where will his actions lead us then?

_*leans against the door*_

Although I'd like to join the crowd  
In their enthusiastic cloud  
Try as I may, it doesn't last

_*watches CLOUD as he speeds away on his motorbike*_

And will we ever end up together?  
No, I think not, it's never to become  
For I am not the one


End file.
